பெருமை

மனம் தனைப் புரிந்து கொள்
மணம் கொண்டவனே
நான் பூச்சூடினால்
மணம் தனைப் புகழ்

நான் சேலை அணிந்தால்
நிறம் தனை ரசி
நான் சமைத்தால்
ரசித்துக் கொண்டே புசி

ஊடல் கொண்டால்
கவிதை ஒன்றை வாசி
கூடல் கொண்டால்
உயிர் மூச்சனைத்தும் சுவாசி

கூறாமலே இவையனனத்தும் செய்தால்
என் உள்ளம் உவப்பு கொள்ளும்
இயல்பாக சிரிப்பேன் - மொத்தத்தில்
நான் நானாக இருப்பேன்

அதற்காக நீ உன்னை இழக்க வேண்டாம்
நீ நீயாகவே இரு
கொஞ்சம் புரிந்து கொள்
அது போதும் என்றாள்

கோபம் கொண்ட வேளையிலும்
கோதையின் மனப் பக்குவம் கண்டு
அகம் மகிழ்ந்தேன்
ஆண்டவனுக்கு நன்றி சொன்னேன்

பெருமை கொண்டேன்
பேரின்பத்தின் எல்லை கண்டேன்

A wonderful Thanksgiving party

First Thanksgiving
For international students like me Thanksgiving is a new tradition. There are lots of festivals in India where we go to our relatives place and meet with our extended family. But none of the festivals is specifically for showing gratitude. It's great that in US they have a grand holiday specifically for this. What more is required in life than feeling grateful and happy? Best part is it always happens on Thursday so the families can get together for 4 days.

In West Lafayette, there is a tradition where the local people invite the Purdue students during Thanksgiving and share their joy with us. I and 3 other Purdue students Pulkit Shukla (Indian from my Masters program), Ogechukwu Ezenwa (Nigeria), Kamilah Razak (Malaysia) got invites from a Physician Shannon Oates and her husband Larry Oates. Their 3 daughters Maggie, Caroline, Becky and son Sam and their extended family, friends, and neighbors had graced their house.

Gingerbread house
As per American Christmas tradition, we decorated gingerbread houses. We had lots of fun doing it. For us it was a new experience to stick candies, icing, wafer, pretzels, etc and make nice houses. There were artistic houses built by Caroline Oates (colosseum), Kamilah Razak, and Shannon Oates herself. It was heartwarming to see all family members involved in this activity irrespective of age and making fun of each other in the process and enjoying themselves -especially Caroline with her sarcasm and witty comments made us all enjoy ourselves.

After building our gingerbread houses, they put all the gingerbread houses on display on the road and they voted for each other's houses. They left it on the road so that the neighbors can also vote. I was glad to know that last year also they did the same and a newspaper reporter covered it!

Grand dinner
We had a grand dinner with turkey, beef, cranberry sauce, mashed potatoes and turnips, sweet potatoes, peas, asparagus, gravy, buttered rolls, wine, etc. Add to this 4 types of Pie - Pumpkin pie, strawberry streusel pie, Pecan and chocolate chips pie, Apple pie - suffice to say we ate to the extent that we have never done before. Shannon was a great host and there was lot of efforts from lot of people including grandma, and Kamilah in cooking all these - hats off!

Musical program
We had a musical program where each of us sang, played musical instruments and had great time. Grandpa Jack read a poem. Shannon's daughters Maggie, Becky and her boyfriend sang songs and played guitar. Kamilah played Saxophone beautifully. It was nice to see everyone entertaining each other with grandma, uncle Jim and cousins Ryan, Helen singing songs too. Ogechukwu Ezenwa recited her story. I sang a tamil song - I am thankful nobody knew how bad it was LOL. We took a group photo at the end. It was a memorable first Thanksgiving indeed.

There was one moment worth mentioning. During the musical program Shannon asked her daughter Maggie to sing “Rivers and roads”(The head and the heart) song. The entire family sang the song and after they finished singing, Maggie and Caroline told us they sang this song when Maggie had to leave home for her college and how they cried and cried at that time. The song has the verses “And my family lives in a different state” and it says that we have to cross rivers and roads to reach you. I am sure when Maggie came for Thanksgiving after she joined college it must have really felt like home for her.

Feeling grateful
What I really liked was this is a great occasion for all family members to get together and talk at length during the lunch and at other activities. We hardly touched our phones. We felt like one of their family members as Caroline, Grandpa Jack, Shannon, Larry and others made us feel at home throughout. I am grateful to all of them. They have inspired me to celebrate like this next year onwards by inviting friends and family at my house for Thanksgiving.

The big picture

I have an elective in my Masters in Business Analytics course for which the concerned Professor has Parkinson's disease. The situation is similar to the movie 'A beautiful mind'. He is the most brilliant Professor technically but his voice is not easily comprehensible. Also, the nature of the course is going to be way too mathematical as per the feedback I had obtained from seniors and other Professors. There was a limit on the class size as 30. Curiously, 30 students registered for the course. I was one among them as I love Mathematics and also love to take challenges head-on.

(Edit: I just noticed that the Professor has won an Gold Medal in the Special Olympics for Golf. Wow!)

By the time the first class started only 19 students were there in the class. The rest of the 11 students dropped out after getting to know the feedback from the seniors later on. The Professor had formed 4 teams out of the 19 students and told all the work in the course including the final take-home exam will be team-based.

During the second class, there were only 9 students. I interacted with the 10 students who dropped out. They told that they weren't expecting so much of a mathematical course.

The Professor now made 2 teams instead of 4. He told in class "Generally, this is my class strength". I thought to myself he is consoling himself by saying that.

Something worse happened after that. It came to my notice that 5 more students dropped out after the second class because they couldn't understand his voice. We are left with a mere 4 students for the forthcoming third class. I am one among the brave souls left.

The professor, while coming out of the second class, asked us, "Are you able to understand?" We all nodded faintly and then he told, "You all should do fine". When he told that, I could sense the pain and sorrow in his voice and face.

I felt bad for him. Apart from his voice, it was also a pitiful sight to see the awkward movements when the Professor is trying to write on the whiteboard. Moreover, he has to sit during the lecture rather than stand because of his disease. In fact, he mentioned he has to take up Rock Steady Boxing classes to help coordinate his movements. Clearly, it was not a joke to be in his position.

I was thinking to myself what would I have done if I were in his position. The answer was not easy. In my old age, if I get Parkinson's I won't be able to do anything about it. I would've just tried to endure what I cannot change. Maybe, just pray to God for strength and accept whatever comes.

Will the Professor's heart sink when he sees just 4 students left? What will he do about the team-based assignments? I thought I will pray to God to give this professor the strength to handle the situation.

In a strange way, this put things into perspective for me. I was thinking that all the troubles that I faced in my life so far. All those troubles seemed like zilch compared to what this Professor was facing at this point in time.

Sometimes looking at others problems we get to know that what we are facing is nothing compared to what many people in this world are facing every day. We are just making mountains out of molehills. We need to distance ourselves from the trials and tribulations that we're facing and look at the big picture. It gave me courage that if someone can handle such huge troubles day in day out and carry on unflinchingly, we can face our problems much better too.

Should strong men cry?

Luka Chuppi

Even before the movie ‘Rang De Basanti’ had released I had listened to ‘Luka Chuppi’ song a million times – touching music, Lataji and ARR’s mesmerising singing, the heart-rending lyrics – it was a totally other worldly experience for me. Watch the live recording if you haven’t – you are likely to get goosebumps: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b70zbqpuDno

When the movie released, 5 of my friends – all guys - went to theatre to watch it. When this song came up, all of us were quite literally fighting tears. Well, who can’t – when you see a son going on to serve the Airforce and then returns in a box with the national flag flapped over it? If I had to choose one of the most emotional scenes in entire Indian cinema, I would pick that song. I later happened to watch Sehwag fighting tears too while listening to the song rendition: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h0sZ2vHUhFo

I didn’t think much about it then. But later it struck me: why were we all holding tears rather than cry freely? World over, different cultures say “real men shouldn’t cry”. But is that right?

Federer’s “God! it’s killing me”

I am a huge Federer fan. My roommates used to support Nadal just to irritate me. When Federer lost Australian Open in 2009 and cried out saying “God! It’s killing me”, even Nadal was moved. Nadal, inspite of winning the championship, had to go to the extent of saying “I feel sorry for Federer. I am sure you will achieve many more laurels”. My roommates made so much fun of Federer calling him a ‘cry baby’. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dCjw0Unm8OY

(image credit: CNN)

Federer was too overwhelmed to withhold tears at the end of Aussie open this year too: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A72M2mZ2wHA

The radio commentator in AO Radio was telling “Well, who can’t be overwhelmed? We were crying too!” Same thing was echoed by other former and current Tennis players like Chris Evert and Eugenie Bouchard.

Is it a sign of weakness for Federer to cry when he wins or loses? I don’t think so.

Father George’s experience

When I was doing my Under Graduation, Professor Father George was the closest to all students compared to all other Professors. He narrated an incident that happened after Tsunami struck Tamil Nadu in 2004.

He went to a village that has almost been washed away – most people were dead and survivors had lost most of their possessions. He met with a survivor whose entire family was dead – his grandparents, parents, uncle’s family, his spouse and kids – all were dead. He was crying to Father George “Why only I had to survive? Why didn’t God kill me too?”

Father George was fighting tears as he was telling this to us “I had gone there precisely to comfort such people. But when that guy told his story, I found it hard not to cry and I was searching for an answer to give him.” As he was telling this, the 10 male students including me were desperately fighting tears. Later, I was left wondering why the 10 of us were fighting tears when we heard this story. Anyone having a bit of empathy and kindness left in him would cry in such a moment right?

(For those of you thinking what happened afterward in Father George’s story: Finally, Father George summoned up the courage and told him “God has left you alive because he has a higher purpose for you. Take heart. Show your kindness to other souls in distress.”  I later came to know this phenomenon experienced by the survivor is known as Survivor’s guilt: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Survivor_guilt )

Should real men cry?

Science says crying is a natural way of stress relief. It signals to yourself and others that you have something that needs to be attended to. The more you bottle up, more stress builds up and it will ultimately harm you.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/men/11884611/Why-men-need-to-learn-how-to-cry.html

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/minority-report/201601/real-men-cry

Men who face depression and anxiety find it difficult to come out of it because they feel they will be considered vulnerable if they seek support. This is really wrong. When you need support, seek that. There is nothing wrong about it.

It doesn’t matter whether you are a male or a female – seeking support and crying are signs of strength – not weakness. There is absolutely nothing shameful about it. Ditch the foolish ideal “men don’t cry” – it is doing more harm than good to put up a “brave” face. Be bold and break such stereotypes!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=td1PbsV6B80

Startups fighting with biggies – an analogy with sports

Dhoni was asked the question just before ODI world cup 2015: which team do you think has the best bowling attack. Dhoni replied that it doesn’t matter. We need to see what best we can do with our bowling attack. It is a practical answer. Startups face similar situation – they can’t afford to have expensive resources. But they can bring out the best out of the given team.

This is what is happening in EPL. We see teams like Leicester City FC which was fighting against relegation last year going for glory this year. Claudio Ranieri has truly brought about a revolution. I feel this is the best year in his coaching career because of this feat. When you are handed a team with rich owners you can afford to bring the best talent and pick and choose. Over here, managing a team which the pundits describe as a ‘one-man team’, he has been able to achieve victory and be a motivation for entire world to show money is not everything.

Yesterday’s victory in which Jamie Vardy had to watch from the sidelines is a classic example of his leadership. You back up the players that you have and show them the direction and put confidence in them – they will take care of the rest.

Same can be said about Rafa Benitez for his bold decision to take up the top job at struggling Newcastle. You won’t see everyday a coach who managed a top team in the world like Real Madrid go and coach a team struggling for survival in the Premier League. This shows that Football is like Oxygen for a good coach like Benitez. He relishes the challenge of bringing them out of trouble. The way he marshalled his resources in an unruffled manner against top teams like Manchester City and Liverpool and took them to fighting draws after being down shows his strength of character.

In a startup, many a times you will observe them fighting against all the odds – limited financial and human resources and competition from Big companies for the same market. But at the end it all falls down to how motivated your employees are – because they are the ones who will make all the difference.

I recently read a quote of FreshDesk founder Girish Mathrubootham and a similar line has been told by many other startup founders too: Always recruit for attitude. Skills can be built. An employee with right attitude will show eagerness to skill himself and help the startup and himself win. Simple as it might sound there lies the key for success!

http://www.fourfourtwo.com/news/leicester-were-afraid-italian-tactics-ranieri-reveals-his-secret

http://www.theguardian.com/football/blog/2016/mar/11/rafael-benitez-newcastle-united-real-madrid

Failure is not final - it is just a success that got postponed

Harsha Bhogle told during a lecture that in Australian Army, they will reject candidates who have faced no failures in their life! Because such guys won’t know what to do in a war situation in which they are facing failure. They will be stunned and won’t be able to respond appropriately. Hence they are rejected though they might have all the relevant skills!

I met with a friend who couldn’t clear IAS exams in 4 attempts (max no. of attempts was 4 at his time). He was a guy who had the dream to become a Collector right from his school days. He cleared the written exams with top mark but he was rejected during the interview for flimsy reason like he had given lowest pritority for IFS (Indian Foreign Service). For the uninitiated, the exam for IAS, IFS, IRS, etc is same and they have to give priorities for each of these positions in their application. Apparently the chief panel member who was interviewing him was IFS and she felt that his priorities are ‘wrong(!)’ and hence gave him very low marks which ultimately led to him being rejected!

He was telling that there are so many like him who couldn’t clear it in 4 attempts. There are many cases where such failed aspirants have committed suicide. I felt sad. These are the guys who could have become the future leaders of our country.

My friend is made of stronger stuff and he has moved on with another profession successfully. I couldn’t understand how others cope with such pressures. My own friend had prepared for over 8 years after college for IAS preparations. Most of his productive age (21-30) have been spent on this and he couldn’t clear it. This was similar to the efforts of many other candidates. Just imagine how it will be if you are unfairly rejected after all that effort because the interviewer thought your priority given for IFS are wrong!

Since all these candidates have spent full-time on the preparation, they can’t get any other job easily. Most Companies place importance to the candidates’ educational qualifications and experience rather than attitude.

I don’t understand why Private Companies won’t consider them for leadership roles. After all, these guys have been determined like anything to become leaders – right from young age. Most of them have the right attitude to lead the country itself – why won’t they be able to lead a company?

More importantly, they have faced failures. As per the example of Australian Army, now they can handle anything right? Why failures are considered a bad thing by recruiters? If recruiters want similar candidates it will be equivalent of looking for similar looking cookies from cutter.

They will get such candidates but can such candidates face failure situations? Can such candidates think out of the box under pressure situations?

When will our society start to think that failures are not to be looked down upon rather be treasured? When will we start accepting failure as solid proof that one has at least had the courage to think differently and give it a shot? When will the realization dawn on us that Failure is simply a postponement of Success?

Is Dhoni the best Indian captain ever?

Dhoni has his share of followers and critics. Most of his critics focus on his unconventional style of batting and say his captaincy is all about fluke. I have watched him live in an IPL match and felt that his shots are not at all elegant though it fetches runs. I agree that his batting will definitely not please the purists but the point I want to discuss is about his leadership. Do all his decisions boil down to fluke or are they all rewards for cool thinking under pressure?

Captain Cool

Indians are used to watching emotional people like Ganguly as captain of the team. Shouting on the field was considered as aggression. When a phlegmatic Dhoni took upon the reins, he showed to the world how a cool headed leader can calm the nerves of his team mates and take them to victory.

Dhoni himself has told that a captain should not show emotions on the field:

“You have to look calm and cool because when you walk up to a bowler to boost him, you can't have a worried look on your face. That certainly won't help his confidence. A captain has to be emotionless, especially when he has to ask his bowlers and fielders to do certain things on the field. Deep down, however, you may be worried about your bowling changes and about your plans coming unstuck too.”

Impressed with this coolness under pressure, Steve Waugh, one of the most successful captains ever, tells that Kohli has to learn from Dhoni and keep his emotions in check.

Gut feeling or Flashes in the pan?

Lots have been talked about Dhoni’s decision to make useless bowlers like Joginder Sharma to bowl the final over in 2007 World T20 final and win. I still remember the dialogue my friend told when Joginder was called to bowl instead of Harbhajan “he looks like a guy going to sell pani puris. How on earth is this guy going to win us the match?” Dhoni just went with his instincts that pace will be better than spin for final over and it clicked.

Similarly the decision to bowl Ishant Sharma the 18^th over in Champions trophy final against England paid off. That decision was taken inspite of Ishant being expensive in his previous overs.

During 2015 ODI worldcup, Dhoni was asked who has the best bowling lineup. He simply told that doesn't matter because he needs to work with what he got and no point in thinking about what is not there. The above are examples of considering the match situation and using the options available.

There have been times when his decisions have gone wrong and he has admitted them openly that he just went with the options he had. For instance asking Ishant Sharma to bowl at the death and paying the price for it. Dhoni told that Vinay Kumar, the other pace bowler at that time also got hit for runs so he just tried Ishant. Sometimes gut feeling works and sometimes it doesn’t. That’s the way it is – sports is unpredictable. But a smart captain will try to bring victory by trying different things rather than going with the tried and tested methods.

His gut feeling is not without any basis. For instance in the just concluded T20 worldcup, in THAT final over of Hardik Pandya against Bangladesh, he knew the bowler’s strength was to bowl bouncers. He also knew that Yorkers could end up as full tosses. So he asked Hardik to focus on his strength and the rest is history.

Presence of mind

In the same over of Hardik Pandya, Dhoni anticipated the bye in the last delivery and kept his gloves removed before the ball was bowled. He also ran and broke the stumps instead of throwing thus avoiding overthrow/miss. This might be ordinary thing to do but under pressure he had the presence of mind to think all these.

He cheekily remarked after that match that once the final over starts he can take all the time in the world because a captain cannot be fined. This is also something that won’t occur to many under pressure situations.

In IPL, I have seen him waiting for the batsman to cross over and then break the stumps for run-out so that the weaker batsman stays and the stronger batsman loses his wicket. Again this is something that will occur only to a person who is cool-headed.

Small but significant gestures

Dhoni has shown gestures like letting Dada do the captaincy during his last test on the last day. He always lets his teammates to bask in glory and stands behind when they win any cup.

He gives all the credit to his teammates when they win. If you put yourselves in the shoes of a team member, all these gestures are small things but very valuable.

 

In the opinion of teammates

Sachin and Dravid have told that Dhoni is the best captain they have played under. Lastly, as Ganguly himself has put it ‘Nobody is perfect. MS Dhoni has been great’!

http://indianexpress.com/article/sports/cricket/nobody-is-perfect-and-ms-dhoni-has-been-great-sourav-ganguly/

http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/sa-in-india/interview/A-captain-has-to-be-emotionless/articleshow/2949540.cms?

http://www.newindianexpress.com/cricket/interviews/Kohli-Needs-to-Learn-From-Dhoni-Waugh/2015/04/15/article2765526.ece

http://www.dnaindia.com/sport/report-ms-dhoni-defends-decision-to-give-ishant-sharma-48th-over-that-cost-game-says-he-was-just-using-an-option-1905820

http://www.businesstoday.in/magazine/case-study/cricket-the-success-story-of-mahendra-singh-dhoni/story/15061.html